Here is a short list of things that I have really enjoyed since coming back to WI:
1) My kid- like this one needs an explanation
2) My Husband- because someone needs to catch me up on all of the reality TV I missed- and OMG do you think Ali was going to pick Frank?
3) The weather- because 80 degrees with humidity is soooo much better than 100+ degrees with humidity (a dry heat my ass)
4) Trees- because they are so green and tree-like. Brown is such a drab color. And there's shade, that's always nice.
5) Squirrels- I think people in AZ might be confused... the animals they call squirrels are not squirrels... I think they are some sort of chipmunk hybrid.
6) Dessert- I had lost a couple (OK 10) pounds over the summer from a combination of stress and med changes. It's kind of fun not having to watch my simple carb intake for the time being. This week I went to Great American Cookies and got myself a double doozie.....aaaaaMAZING!!!
7) Water- you know because we have it.
8) Reading- I wasn't allowed to read for pleasure in treatment but I have been more than making up for it. I recently read Water for Elephants (awesome novel-soon to be a movie) and Smashed (a well-written, engrossing memoir about a teen aged girl with a drinking problem)
Ah yes, home sweet home.
But I do miss some things from AZ. I miss the lizards and the palm trees. I miss the girls from the program. I miss the mountains and riding horses. Most of all though, I miss waking up and having to chug a glass of lukewarm gatorade- the kind mixed (never in the same ratio) from powder. Just kidding, I don't miss gatorade at all. Yuck.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
My kid got weird while I was gone
Or more likely my parenting got rusty.
But seriously,
Yesterday I had to threaten a time-out because he was licking the tv screen. Sean and I also had to put to use some serious distraction skills when he begged and pleaded to bring one of our dinner plates with him to Grandma's house. Yes a plate. He'll never know how close I came to giving in and just letting him bring it. I have to admit, part of me picked this battle just to see how much of a fuss he would put up over a dinner plate. Because I'm a terrible mom and I like to mess with his head a little.
But this is odd behavior, no?
I get picking battles, I just never imagined that they would get this...strange.
Send parenting books.
But seriously,
Yesterday I had to threaten a time-out because he was licking the tv screen. Sean and I also had to put to use some serious distraction skills when he begged and pleaded to bring one of our dinner plates with him to Grandma's house. Yes a plate. He'll never know how close I came to giving in and just letting him bring it. I have to admit, part of me picked this battle just to see how much of a fuss he would put up over a dinner plate. Because I'm a terrible mom and I like to mess with his head a little.
But this is odd behavior, no?
I get picking battles, I just never imagined that they would get this...strange.
Send parenting books.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
I'm back (ish)
In the past, when people would come up to me with the obligatory "Hey how are you doing?" question, I would pause for a second and seriously consider actually being honest instead of plastering on the fake smile and answering "great!" I think maybe I'm not alone in this. Or possibly I am and that is how I got in this situation to begin with.
If you asked me today though, the obligatory, "Hey how are you doing?" (well unless you were like my bank teller or cashier or something, cause I'm not that crazy) I would gladly answer "I'm losing my s!&#, but I hope it gets better soon." Because I am so over faking.
Don't get me wrong, I know that whole "laugh and the world laughs with you" stuff, and we all know that I love me a good laugh, but when you are going through a rough time, the last thing you want is to be honest about it only to be met with a cheery smile and faux sympathetic head nod as if that person is simply baffled that someone could feel a feeling other than bliss.
This is why the past two months of my life have been the best and worst all at once. As you are probably aware now, my hiatus was actually me spending 52 long days in an inpatient program for women suffering from eating and/or anxiety disorders.
I was there getting help for anxiety. The experience was life changing. I learned some hard truths about life and about myself. I faced some of my biggest fears and I lived to tell about it.
The part of treatment that I enjoyed the most was being surrounded by a sample of the population that is simply honest about their struggles. I guess it's kind of impossible to be in a treatment center and still fake that your life is "right on track!" It was a rare circumstance and I am grateful for the opportunity to have experienced it.
Needless to say, the adjustment back home has been rough.
I find myself going through the motions and feeling a bit isolated. So I guess I'll just continue to be honest, and the honest truth is that I'm not fixed yet. I'm learning to live life a different way and it's a little difficult. I'm needing help from people and it's always hard to admit when you need help. I'm taking a leap of faith and hoping that once I get through this hard part that things will better in the long run.
Wow this is getting lengthy.
I suppose the only thing I have left to say right now is that if I ask you how you are doing, please feel free to say the thing you might be really thinking, instead of "I'm great! how are you?"
If you asked me today though, the obligatory, "Hey how are you doing?" (well unless you were like my bank teller or cashier or something, cause I'm not that crazy) I would gladly answer "I'm losing my s!&#, but I hope it gets better soon." Because I am so over faking.
Don't get me wrong, I know that whole "laugh and the world laughs with you" stuff, and we all know that I love me a good laugh, but when you are going through a rough time, the last thing you want is to be honest about it only to be met with a cheery smile and faux sympathetic head nod as if that person is simply baffled that someone could feel a feeling other than bliss.
This is why the past two months of my life have been the best and worst all at once. As you are probably aware now, my hiatus was actually me spending 52 long days in an inpatient program for women suffering from eating and/or anxiety disorders.
I was there getting help for anxiety. The experience was life changing. I learned some hard truths about life and about myself. I faced some of my biggest fears and I lived to tell about it.
The part of treatment that I enjoyed the most was being surrounded by a sample of the population that is simply honest about their struggles. I guess it's kind of impossible to be in a treatment center and still fake that your life is "right on track!" It was a rare circumstance and I am grateful for the opportunity to have experienced it.
Needless to say, the adjustment back home has been rough.
I find myself going through the motions and feeling a bit isolated. So I guess I'll just continue to be honest, and the honest truth is that I'm not fixed yet. I'm learning to live life a different way and it's a little difficult. I'm needing help from people and it's always hard to admit when you need help. I'm taking a leap of faith and hoping that once I get through this hard part that things will better in the long run.
Wow this is getting lengthy.
I suppose the only thing I have left to say right now is that if I ask you how you are doing, please feel free to say the thing you might be really thinking, instead of "I'm great! how are you?"
Friday, June 11, 2010
H is for hiatus
Just wanted to mention that I'll be exiting the blogosphere for awhile. I'll miss it terribly!
Back in about six weeks at which time I will have plenty of random pictures and some fresh anecdotes to annoy you with.
Back in about six weeks at which time I will have plenty of random pictures and some fresh anecdotes to annoy you with.
Friday, May 28, 2010
An open letter to the taxpayers in my city
Dear fellow taxpayers,
I would like to take this opportunity to formally apologize for an incident that took place last Saturday, involving a [my husband's] parenting failure. This incident took time from our police force that would have been better spent on more important duties than unlocking our toddler from our vehicle. I am sincerely sorry. I wish I could promise that it will never happen again, but in all honesty, it very well might. I can, however, promise that our next vehicle will come equipped with Onstar.
Sincerely,
Emily
Parenting fail #7835 Kelan locks himself in my car. Again. This one is not on me. Really.
Let me just start by explaining why only a little part of this is my fault. I leave my keys in my car (well probably not anymore after this post). I do this for several reasons. Including but not limited to the following:
1) I am a very trusting person
2) If they are always in the car, I don't have to go hunting around for them.
3) If someone needs a 1996 Honda (that has no working windows, leaks oil like a sieve, shakes at stop lights or anytime the spedomoter goes over 50, and has a check engine light that's been on for six months) bad enough to steal it- then clearly, their problems are worse than mine and good riddance.
So that is the part of the situation that I take responsibility for.
I have no idea why Sean lets Kelan play around in our cars. He has locked himself in my car so often that I don't even get fazed by it. Usually we just look around for the spare key and that's that.
Last Saturday, Sean let me sleep in. When I woke up, the boys were outside. Sean was doing yard work. I remember thinking to myself, There's no way Sean would let Kelan play in the car without making sure the keys were out first. Especially since earlier in the week Kelan had run my car battery down by leaving the lights on.
I was almost finished with my coffee when Sean came in and asked me where the keys were. Kelan locked himself in. Turns out both sets were in the car. I had no words. It wasn't a hot day and Kelan wasn't distraught, so I felt no guilt taking a shower and letting Sean deal with the repercussions (police and all). By the time I was done flat ironing my hair, all was well.
Another day, another parenting fail.
I would like to take this opportunity to formally apologize for an incident that took place last Saturday, involving a [my husband's] parenting failure. This incident took time from our police force that would have been better spent on more important duties than unlocking our toddler from our vehicle. I am sincerely sorry. I wish I could promise that it will never happen again, but in all honesty, it very well might. I can, however, promise that our next vehicle will come equipped with Onstar.
Sincerely,
Emily
Parenting fail #7835 Kelan locks himself in my car. Again. This one is not on me. Really.
Let me just start by explaining why only a little part of this is my fault. I leave my keys in my car (well probably not anymore after this post). I do this for several reasons. Including but not limited to the following:
1) I am a very trusting person
2) If they are always in the car, I don't have to go hunting around for them.
3) If someone needs a 1996 Honda (that has no working windows, leaks oil like a sieve, shakes at stop lights or anytime the spedomoter goes over 50, and has a check engine light that's been on for six months) bad enough to steal it- then clearly, their problems are worse than mine and good riddance.
So that is the part of the situation that I take responsibility for.
I have no idea why Sean lets Kelan play around in our cars. He has locked himself in my car so often that I don't even get fazed by it. Usually we just look around for the spare key and that's that.
Last Saturday, Sean let me sleep in. When I woke up, the boys were outside. Sean was doing yard work. I remember thinking to myself, There's no way Sean would let Kelan play in the car without making sure the keys were out first. Especially since earlier in the week Kelan had run my car battery down by leaving the lights on.
I was almost finished with my coffee when Sean came in and asked me where the keys were. Kelan locked himself in. Turns out both sets were in the car. I had no words. It wasn't a hot day and Kelan wasn't distraught, so I felt no guilt taking a shower and letting Sean deal with the repercussions (police and all). By the time I was done flat ironing my hair, all was well.
Another day, another parenting fail.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Don't have much to say
But here are some random pictures of Kelan at the park this season. Happy Friday!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Decisions
So, I don't really know the rules about making major life choices in the wake of a miscarriage; I mean, I'm pretty sure that that it's [mildly?] ill-advised, but I'm OK with that. In any event, here's the deal... I'm quitting the stay at home mom gig. Well, sort of.
My goal is to transition this summer and by fall I'll either be working part time or going to school part time. It's a big decision for me, but one that's been on my mind for a long time. There are a lot of reasons I could explain in detail but here is one that has come up a lot lately... the misconception amongst my peers about my "job".
Last week Sean and I went out to a bar to meet some friends. We ran into some of his colleagues unexpectedly. After Sean introduced me, a gentleman asked "So what do you do?" I told him that I stay at home with Kelan. his reply? "Oh you're so lucky! That would be the so great!" He went on to talk about how he'd be at the park all day... he lost me somewhere after the "great" part.
My point isn't that I'm not lucky, it's just that in all honesty, this is the typical reaction I receive upon telling people that I'm a stay at home mom. At first it was endearing, I tried to explain that it's actually kind of challenging. Then somewhere along the line I just gave up and let people think that I indeed, am having the time of my life changing diapers and dragging a screaming kid out of a store after getting 1/4 of the things I went in for.
I'm pretty sure stay at home parenting is the only job that people feel comfortable telling you how easy you have it. I mean, it's like saying to a nurse, "You don't know how great you have it! If I were you, I'd just lurk around the waiting room all day watching programs on the TV and giving people shots once in awhile."
So there it is. I know it seems shallow that I think about other peoples' perception of my life, but it's really just one minor aspect of the situation. There are more- like the lack of adult conversation in the day, and the fear that creeps in constantly that Kelan isn't getting enough social interaction with his peers because god forbid he ends up like his socially awkward, neurotic mother. etc.etc.etc.
I guess there isn't much else to say. The hard part is done now that I've finally decided, now it's just a matter of sorting out the details and figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.
Wish me luck?
My goal is to transition this summer and by fall I'll either be working part time or going to school part time. It's a big decision for me, but one that's been on my mind for a long time. There are a lot of reasons I could explain in detail but here is one that has come up a lot lately... the misconception amongst my peers about my "job".
Last week Sean and I went out to a bar to meet some friends. We ran into some of his colleagues unexpectedly. After Sean introduced me, a gentleman asked "So what do you do?" I told him that I stay at home with Kelan. his reply? "Oh you're so lucky! That would be the so great!" He went on to talk about how he'd be at the park all day... he lost me somewhere after the "great" part.
My point isn't that I'm not lucky, it's just that in all honesty, this is the typical reaction I receive upon telling people that I'm a stay at home mom. At first it was endearing, I tried to explain that it's actually kind of challenging. Then somewhere along the line I just gave up and let people think that I indeed, am having the time of my life changing diapers and dragging a screaming kid out of a store after getting 1/4 of the things I went in for.
I'm pretty sure stay at home parenting is the only job that people feel comfortable telling you how easy you have it. I mean, it's like saying to a nurse, "You don't know how great you have it! If I were you, I'd just lurk around the waiting room all day watching programs on the TV and giving people shots once in awhile."
So there it is. I know it seems shallow that I think about other peoples' perception of my life, but it's really just one minor aspect of the situation. There are more- like the lack of adult conversation in the day, and the fear that creeps in constantly that Kelan isn't getting enough social interaction with his peers because god forbid he ends up like his socially awkward, neurotic mother. etc.etc.etc.
I guess there isn't much else to say. The hard part is done now that I've finally decided, now it's just a matter of sorting out the details and figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.
Wish me luck?
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