His teenage years are going to break the bank

I laugh thinking about how we spent the first couple weeks of this kid's life trying to get him to eat.

Kelan was kind of a sluggish newborn. Really, the poor child just wanted to sleep but the hospital forced us to bottle feed when he lost ten percent of his birth weight. I have these memories of Sean trying to get him to swallow MILLILITERS of milk from a plastic syringe. When we left the hospital, Kelan tipped the scales at a whopping five pounds thirteen ounces. The lactation consultant advised us to feed him every two hours. The kicker- we ended up having to wake him up to feed him during the night.

And here he is 13 short months later:

He might as well be some sort of pod baby. I watch him with awe at mealtimes. I sometimes refer to him as the snake because he will swallow food whole when he is really hungry. His first word was more (which was kind of embarrasing because people thought he was saying mama- I knew better). His second word was cracker.

I've never seen anything like it... and apparently neither have the staff at the drop in daycare that I take him to. They often jokingly (I hope) ask if I forgot to feed him. I just laugh nervously. It's enough to have me seriously wondering about reincarnation. Perhaps in a past life he had a lot of hungry siblings to contend with.

Quarter life crisis

So it's my 25th today and you'd probably think I'd have something profound to say. Well, you would be wrong.

Among the many random thoughts floating through my head this morning is "Oh my god, am I officially too old to cast for The Real World?!?"

One year older... yep. One year wiser...I guess not.

I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids...

is the title of one of my new favorite books. I couldn't have phrased it better. I have been working really hard on having more realistic expectations of motherhood and this book has really added some humor to that.

After working with infants in child care for four years, I had a pretty good idea (OK, I had an exact detailed plan) of how I was going to raise my children. If I'm being honest, I spent a lot of time at work thinking I'm never going to let my child eat that, do that, say that.. etc.

I have to say, this whole becoming a mom experience has made me a big believer in fate. I believe that I got the perfect child to teach me the error of my old ways. 95% of the time Kelan is an angel. He is really calm and happy and has a fun-loving personality. People have always remarked that I am lucky to have such an "easy" baby. Well not only does this feed some sort of weird desire that I have to please people, but it puts pressure on me to somehow deny (and go nuts during) the other 5% of the time, when he is a temper-tantrum-throwing, monster-when-he-misses-enough-naps, average toddler.

Just recently when I was at the ymca paying for some classes, the woman at the desk shared a smile with Kelan. "What a sweet little boy" she said. "He seems really easy-going. My third was like that; doesn't it really throw you when he isn't himself?" She really hit the nail on the head. She went on to talk about how her first was really dramatic, and had "fits" all the time, but when her easy kid would do it, it would really throw her for a loop. It's so true! I've often thought that I wouldn't get so worked up about his "crabby times" if I was used to it, and could be better prepared.

Anyway, I digress.

One thing I have learned this year is that as a parent- you will do almost everything you swore you wouldn't do before you had kids (or at least I have.) For me, this included laying my seven month old down with a bottle once in awhile to help everyone get some sleep...old me would have had a coronary.

No mom is an island

Last night I found myself trying desperately to come up with my New Year’s resolution at the last minute. I wanted something that would be a noticeable change, but also something achievable. Then it hit me - I should resolve to rely less on my “village” and do more for myself. I fell into a blissful sleep at 11:30 (yes, this is how lame I have become.)

I have been lucky to have an amazing support system. Sean and I both have parents that are willing to help out at the drop of a hat. Not to mention extended family, friends, and coworkers who have helped babysit, dragged us out of the house for an evening out, or answered our dumb parenting questions without laughing at us. I have even been utilizing the YMCA drop-in daycare for anything from a quick work out to an afternoon of housework.

Lately, I have started to worry that I rely too heavily on these people. I have been afraid that other people will find out that I can’t do everything by myself… I am far from a supermom. Especially as a stay-at-home mom, the guilt of not being able to finish everything has really set in. I have found myself thinking, “It should not be this hard to keep the cupboards full, house clean, and everyone in clean clothes. I don’t even work outside this house and I only have one child!”

Last night shortly after I made my resolution, I awoke to Kelan screaming. It turned out to be what I call a dig deep night (which means Kelan was up more than he was asleep), with what Sean and I assume was teething pain. Somewhere around three thirty in the morning, watching Sean rock Kelan, I started thinking. The reason I have my sanity is because of all of the help I get. I know that tomorrow if I need a quick nap, I can ask for it. I’m not sure I want to feel bad about not being able to do everything alone… not with perks like naps!

So instead of resolving to be more independent, I think my new year’s resolution will be to pay it forward - to be a helpful villager in someone else’s life. As many of my friends embark on this parenting adventure, I will offer my assistance in babysitting, advice, or dragging them out for an evening of fun. There. That wasn’t so hard. Happy 2009!