Warning: this is another post in which I whine about parenting.
Oh my Gaaaaaawwwwd the injustice.
So I've heard that the "science" of parenting is to be consistent and receive results. I'm sorry, but I have to call BS.
Something amazing happened last week. I decided not to blog it because of the jinx factor. Everybody knows that second you tell people that your baby is finally sleeping through the night is the second your baby stops that cute little trend. Anyway, I took Kelan to daycare for the first time in three or four months. I expected resistance. I expected screaming and kicking. I expected the annoyed looks on the teachers' faces as they pried him off of my legs. I did not expect him to casually walk in and say "Hi" to people, wave goodbye to me, and walk away- but that's what happened.
That experience totally made my day. I may have been on the treadmill running, but in my head I was thinking of all the part-time job hunting I should do, all of the last minute errands I could run, the coffee dates I could enjoy while he had fun socializing with kids his age. Oh the freedom of having a child that is open to drop-in daycare!
Five short days later- I'm on the treadmill running... but this time I'm closing my eyes and running far, far away from the screaming- and the fear that my toddler has some sort of crazy attachment disorder that will cripple him for life. If you happened to be at the downtown Y today, you might have seen me. I was the disheveled chick carrying the screaming kid and trying not to drop the backpack or, god forbid, the matchbox-sized airplanes that he "had" to bring with him. I looked a hot mess.
So, In conclusion, there might be some rhyme or reason to all of this consistency stuff, but in my humble opinion, it's touch and go- on the best days. And the "science" of parenting is to always be consistent, and don't ever, ever, expect it back. That way you'll be happy when you get it... in about 20 years.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
How bout them packers?
Here is a short list of things that I have really enjoyed since coming back to WI:
1) My kid- like this one needs an explanation
2) My Husband- because someone needs to catch me up on all of the reality TV I missed- and OMG do you think Ali was going to pick Frank?
3) The weather- because 80 degrees with humidity is soooo much better than 100+ degrees with humidity (a dry heat my ass)
4) Trees- because they are so green and tree-like. Brown is such a drab color. And there's shade, that's always nice.
5) Squirrels- I think people in AZ might be confused... the animals they call squirrels are not squirrels... I think they are some sort of chipmunk hybrid.
6) Dessert- I had lost a couple (OK 10) pounds over the summer from a combination of stress and med changes. It's kind of fun not having to watch my simple carb intake for the time being. This week I went to Great American Cookies and got myself a double doozie.....aaaaaMAZING!!!
7) Water- you know because we have it.
8) Reading- I wasn't allowed to read for pleasure in treatment but I have been more than making up for it. I recently read Water for Elephants (awesome novel-soon to be a movie) and Smashed (a well-written, engrossing memoir about a teen aged girl with a drinking problem)
Ah yes, home sweet home.
But I do miss some things from AZ. I miss the lizards and the palm trees. I miss the girls from the program. I miss the mountains and riding horses. Most of all though, I miss waking up and having to chug a glass of lukewarm gatorade- the kind mixed (never in the same ratio) from powder. Just kidding, I don't miss gatorade at all. Yuck.
1) My kid- like this one needs an explanation
2) My Husband- because someone needs to catch me up on all of the reality TV I missed- and OMG do you think Ali was going to pick Frank?
3) The weather- because 80 degrees with humidity is soooo much better than 100+ degrees with humidity (a dry heat my ass)
4) Trees- because they are so green and tree-like. Brown is such a drab color. And there's shade, that's always nice.
5) Squirrels- I think people in AZ might be confused... the animals they call squirrels are not squirrels... I think they are some sort of chipmunk hybrid.
6) Dessert- I had lost a couple (OK 10) pounds over the summer from a combination of stress and med changes. It's kind of fun not having to watch my simple carb intake for the time being. This week I went to Great American Cookies and got myself a double doozie.....aaaaaMAZING!!!
7) Water- you know because we have it.
8) Reading- I wasn't allowed to read for pleasure in treatment but I have been more than making up for it. I recently read Water for Elephants (awesome novel-soon to be a movie) and Smashed (a well-written, engrossing memoir about a teen aged girl with a drinking problem)
Ah yes, home sweet home.
But I do miss some things from AZ. I miss the lizards and the palm trees. I miss the girls from the program. I miss the mountains and riding horses. Most of all though, I miss waking up and having to chug a glass of lukewarm gatorade- the kind mixed (never in the same ratio) from powder. Just kidding, I don't miss gatorade at all. Yuck.
Friday, August 13, 2010
My kid got weird while I was gone
Or more likely my parenting got rusty.
But seriously,
Yesterday I had to threaten a time-out because he was licking the tv screen. Sean and I also had to put to use some serious distraction skills when he begged and pleaded to bring one of our dinner plates with him to Grandma's house. Yes a plate. He'll never know how close I came to giving in and just letting him bring it. I have to admit, part of me picked this battle just to see how much of a fuss he would put up over a dinner plate. Because I'm a terrible mom and I like to mess with his head a little.
But this is odd behavior, no?
I get picking battles, I just never imagined that they would get this...strange.
Send parenting books.
But seriously,
Yesterday I had to threaten a time-out because he was licking the tv screen. Sean and I also had to put to use some serious distraction skills when he begged and pleaded to bring one of our dinner plates with him to Grandma's house. Yes a plate. He'll never know how close I came to giving in and just letting him bring it. I have to admit, part of me picked this battle just to see how much of a fuss he would put up over a dinner plate. Because I'm a terrible mom and I like to mess with his head a little.
But this is odd behavior, no?
I get picking battles, I just never imagined that they would get this...strange.
Send parenting books.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
I'm back (ish)
In the past, when people would come up to me with the obligatory "Hey how are you doing?" question, I would pause for a second and seriously consider actually being honest instead of plastering on the fake smile and answering "great!" I think maybe I'm not alone in this. Or possibly I am and that is how I got in this situation to begin with.
If you asked me today though, the obligatory, "Hey how are you doing?" (well unless you were like my bank teller or cashier or something, cause I'm not that crazy) I would gladly answer "I'm losing my s!&#, but I hope it gets better soon." Because I am so over faking.
Don't get me wrong, I know that whole "laugh and the world laughs with you" stuff, and we all know that I love me a good laugh, but when you are going through a rough time, the last thing you want is to be honest about it only to be met with a cheery smile and faux sympathetic head nod as if that person is simply baffled that someone could feel a feeling other than bliss.
This is why the past two months of my life have been the best and worst all at once. As you are probably aware now, my hiatus was actually me spending 52 long days in an inpatient program for women suffering from eating and/or anxiety disorders.
I was there getting help for anxiety. The experience was life changing. I learned some hard truths about life and about myself. I faced some of my biggest fears and I lived to tell about it.
The part of treatment that I enjoyed the most was being surrounded by a sample of the population that is simply honest about their struggles. I guess it's kind of impossible to be in a treatment center and still fake that your life is "right on track!" It was a rare circumstance and I am grateful for the opportunity to have experienced it.
Needless to say, the adjustment back home has been rough.
I find myself going through the motions and feeling a bit isolated. So I guess I'll just continue to be honest, and the honest truth is that I'm not fixed yet. I'm learning to live life a different way and it's a little difficult. I'm needing help from people and it's always hard to admit when you need help. I'm taking a leap of faith and hoping that once I get through this hard part that things will better in the long run.
Wow this is getting lengthy.
I suppose the only thing I have left to say right now is that if I ask you how you are doing, please feel free to say the thing you might be really thinking, instead of "I'm great! how are you?"
If you asked me today though, the obligatory, "Hey how are you doing?" (well unless you were like my bank teller or cashier or something, cause I'm not that crazy) I would gladly answer "I'm losing my s!&#, but I hope it gets better soon." Because I am so over faking.
Don't get me wrong, I know that whole "laugh and the world laughs with you" stuff, and we all know that I love me a good laugh, but when you are going through a rough time, the last thing you want is to be honest about it only to be met with a cheery smile and faux sympathetic head nod as if that person is simply baffled that someone could feel a feeling other than bliss.
This is why the past two months of my life have been the best and worst all at once. As you are probably aware now, my hiatus was actually me spending 52 long days in an inpatient program for women suffering from eating and/or anxiety disorders.
I was there getting help for anxiety. The experience was life changing. I learned some hard truths about life and about myself. I faced some of my biggest fears and I lived to tell about it.
The part of treatment that I enjoyed the most was being surrounded by a sample of the population that is simply honest about their struggles. I guess it's kind of impossible to be in a treatment center and still fake that your life is "right on track!" It was a rare circumstance and I am grateful for the opportunity to have experienced it.
Needless to say, the adjustment back home has been rough.
I find myself going through the motions and feeling a bit isolated. So I guess I'll just continue to be honest, and the honest truth is that I'm not fixed yet. I'm learning to live life a different way and it's a little difficult. I'm needing help from people and it's always hard to admit when you need help. I'm taking a leap of faith and hoping that once I get through this hard part that things will better in the long run.
Wow this is getting lengthy.
I suppose the only thing I have left to say right now is that if I ask you how you are doing, please feel free to say the thing you might be really thinking, instead of "I'm great! how are you?"
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