Sean is learning how to start a fire in a garbage can, just in case

I'm not really fluent in realtor speak, but I'm pretty sure hearing that the buyers are "just dragging their feet a bit" in terms of getting info to their lender is not a positive thing. Hearing that they are "still getting their ducks in a row" with 31 days until closing also does not instill a lot of confidence.

We were flat out told not to sign a lease "quite yet" and I am more than hesitant to pack a single box, but really-- crazy me, I'm starting to have this nagging where the heck are we going to live next month if this sale does go through? voice in my head.

So this is where I'm at... pretending that it isn't happening. House, what house? ahhh that feels better.

I'm more than positive that the buyers are living their lives and simply have no idea what it is like to be in limbo with a toddler and a house full of things that may have no place to go in a month. I'm certain that they have no idea that we would like to either secure a place to go, or keep showing the house to others. They can have no way of knowing that we are going on vacation this month, leaving us less time to get things ready. But all of this doesn't stop me from fantasizing about knocking on their door and politely asking, "um, would you mind just speeding things along a bit? We would prefer to not be homeless, thanks."

The practical side of me is pretty sure we will be living here this winter.

Who pressed fast forward?

I don't really want to admit that these past few months have been about biding time until now-- but ok, they totally have. And not that there haven't been a few distractions along the way (exciting new babies, sandboxes, and developing language skills included) but in the back of my brain, I have been counting down to this week... little did I know just what a crescendo it would become.

And it all comes down to now. Sean officially, officially finds out about his job status tomorrow, and just today we accepted an offer on the house that may or may not have us packing next month. Just typing this has me in a cold sweat, reaching for the family sized bottle of Pepto which now resides in my nightstand (no longer just reserved for the 3 o'clock in the morning version of these worries).

It's all so exciting! But, I'm ready to come down from this 24 hour a day adrenaline high, and get back to focusing on the smaller things. However, until then- we are officially unpaused.

His quest for autonomy-my quest for serenity

So I've been taking a lot of deep breaths lately. I've also been listening to a lot of Enya and Coldplay... and when that isn't doing it, I've been strapping him in the stroller (sometimes, ok, most times against his will) and walking until the endorphins kick in.

Ah yes... toddlerhood.

Toddlers have an amazing way of keeping your ego in check. You never feel smug when he sits happily in the cart while you stroll past a kid on the floor kicking and screaming below their crimson faced parent, because you know that it will be you tomorrow.

Trying to navigate around tantrums is kind of an exhausting job. I think of it as calculated risks (a million a day). Say for example you are at the store. You come back from grabbing the laundry detergent to find that your significant other has let the child hold on to a bag of golf tees that said significant other claims the child "just had to have." Then you notice that in the amount of time it took you to whine about sticking to the list, he has chewed a hole in the bag, and is drooling all over it. You quickly calculate the risk of taking the chewed on merchandise away.

You must factor in:
- the amount of sleep the child has had
- the percent chance that there will soon be golf tees all down the aisle
- the percent chance that those very tees just got off of a boat from a foreign
land, and lets face it, are probably just sticks dipped in lead paint
- what is on hand that might distract the child from the golf tees
- the alignment of the planets
- how many people are in line at the checkout
- how fast you think you could get a screaming toddler out of the store

So you calculate, and decide to take the tees, resulting in the tantrum of the century. Was it the right answer? You'll never know.

But hey, at least you provided some birth control to the teens who were walking behind you. You are pretty sure you even saw the couple stop holding hands.