Library schmibrary, the hospital is where it's at

So I've been spending a lot of time in hospitals lately. Not as a patient, but as a visitor. Between people having babies and surgeries, I've logged quite a few hours in waiting rooms. And I've been thinking...

What the heck homeless people????

Why spend your time in a dusty library when you could be wandering around hospitals? I mean, sure books are great and everything, but you know what is better? A huge place with lots of roaming space that is basically just available 24 hours a day!

I have given this a lot of thought, and I really can't see a downside (Well besides MRSA I guess, but who says your chances are any smaller at the public library?). It is so easy to be inconspicuous in a hospital. You can basically just wander from waiting room to waiting room watching daytime television and sipping free coffee. FREE! Not to mention there is a better chance of slipping into a random shower without being detected.

Here's the bonus. I'm going to let you in on the hospital's best kept secret- the ICU waiting room. Don't scoff, It's mostly always empty- it turns out people with loved ones in the ICU tend to like to hang out with said loved ones, and if they are in emergency surgery, you get sent to the surgical waiting room (which is subpar as far as waiting rooms go-- I know these things). Anyway, the ICU room? Has tables and games. It has coffee, tea, snacks and a refrigerator. For crying out loud, it has pillows and blankets!

If you're worried about getting caught, don't. I have been lost down many a pointless, endless hallway, hoping to run into someone that can help, but mostly everyone just ignores you, especially the volunteers - who are mostly just high school kids trying to pad their college applications and tend to sigh heavily when you ask for help. And god forbid you annoy them in the midst of an angsty leaning session (or a less angsty but obviously super-important text message).

Anyway, do what you will homeless and weary, but I know where I'll be next time I need a break from being yelled at for getting the wrong kind of popsicles, or not ironing the shirts on time--The front lobby, with a magazine and a coffee--right next to that piano that PLAYS ITSELF.