Don't become friends with that cigarette, kids - He will cut you.

It's not every day that your husband turns to you and says, "I feel the need to warn you that I might try to strangle you in your sleep."

But that's life these days.

Sean and I are both trying to give up some vices. Because, now that our second child is indefinitely on hold, we figure we will just have to be healthy and live longer... lest there be canes present at any high school graduations.

Sean is trying to stop smoking when he gets stressed, and I'm trying to give up my addiction to refined sugars.

We are trying our best to support each other, but regardless, it's been a bit chaotic 'round here.

Sean is trying that drug Chantix, which apparently has some weird possible side effects*. I am trying to stop my willful ignorance of calorie intake, because, a calorie is NOT a calorie, is not a calorie...or so I'm told. And we are both researching the best ways to get rid of our bad habits.

Which brings me to this:

This is our newest refrigerator art; It sent Kelan's self portrait packing. It's a quitting aid for smokers. This is one of those things that I read, and instantly want to meet the author. The document is entitled, "Your 'friend' the cigarette" and features a list of comparisons between a smoking habit, and a terrible friend.

The comparisons start off innocent,

"How do you feel about a friend that must go everywhere you do?"

Then it gets serious,

"How do you feel about a friend that burns holes in your clothes and has even been known to burn down a house?"

Huh... that's a weird friend...

Then it gets downright scary,

"How do you feel about a friend that carries an arsenal of poisons with him, and every chance he gets, he makes you sick?"

Wow.

And, this is the one that sent me over the edge, into funny visuals and uncontrollable laughter,

"How do you feel about a friend who has been plotting your death since the first time you met?"

Umm. Holy crap. Nicotine is a dick!!!

Every time I walk past this, I giggle to myself. The first thing I thought of was taking a picture of a cigarette somehow wielding a knife next to Sean's pillow when he was sleeping, and hanging that on the refrigerator next to it..but that might send the wrong message regarding my support of his quitting.

Or would it?

*And strangling people in your sleep is not even the weirdest one, by the way.