Monday, December 15, 2008

The opposite of nirvana

Participating in a power yoga class feels eerily like the few games of twister I have played. Except in yoga, there isn’t the added bonus of accidentally falling on the cute guy who sits next to me in Geography. The goal feels the same though-- try not to fall over while someone in the background is telling you to do absurd things with your limbs.

OK, intellectually I grasp that the goal of yoga is actually to connect your mind and body and that it has all of these great health benefits. When I’m in class however, I just can’t help feeling like I am participating in some weird psychological experiment. I mean really, there has to be someone with a clipboard standing in the back corner taking notes about how a room full of people (if told to do so by a qualified “instructor”) will actually try to touch their knee to their nose, while balancing on one foot, with one of their arms in the air.

The problem for me isn’t necessarily the crazy positions or the balancing for ridiculous amounts of time on one foot. I have even come to terms with the fact that once per class I will shake like a leaf during a pose and/or fall over and have to apologize profusely to my neighbor whose chi I have totally ruined. The part that really makes me feel inept is the requirement of focusing on just one thing.

My nemesis is the “Corpse” pose. It basically involves laying on the floor for three to five minutes and meditating. The instructor encourages us to clear our minds and push our thoughts away… Is it even humanly possible to not think? On a good day, I spend the time arguing with my own thoughts and thinking “ok I will relax now… ok now”…etc. On a bad day, I spend the time mentally putting together this week’s grocery list.

Ugh, add yoga to the list of things type-A personalities are no good at.

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