I was a hero once.
Fine, so I use the term "hero" loosely.
Back when I lived at "that crazy party house" (as I've heard it referred to) my roommates and I had some pretty wild adventures. One of my favorite (because as mentioned above, I totally saved the day) is the bat story.
Once upon a warm summer evening, I was awoken by a frantic person in my doorway talking about some bird flying in her room. I wish I could say that I jumped out of bed and ran to the spot immediately, but in such a house as this one was, I can't even admit that I was surprised. What was surprising, is that when I finally dragged myself out of bed and saw that there was a bat in my roommate's bedroom (just hanging all upside down, looking at us like, "what?") there was not a guy to be found. But of course on any other given night when they were useless, they could be found crashing on any surface.
And it's also no surprise that there was a bat inside. It's not like our slumlord made sure there were screens anywhere, and people tended to just open windows anyway for some reason (well actually there were many reasons, I mean you need a place to crawl out of to sit on the roof at 2 am obviously).
Anyway, what the hell to do, right? So it's close to four am, and three of us girls just stared at each other spouting out crazy ideas, and I have absolutely no idea what was said, but I imagine it went something like this....
'What are we going to do?'
'I don't know, don't they like, bite and scratch people?'
'Sarah, you do this, you are the animal person'
'Guys! I heard something about using a tennis racket'
'I don't want rabies!!!'
'Wait, what do we do with the tennis racket?'
'Did it just move!? I think it just moved!!!'
That is when Sarah got brave and decided to just go for it. She put us on bat watch and disappeared for awhile. When she came back, it was priceless. In fact, I brought my camera out and took pictures (and if I had a scanner and wasn't lazy I would totally post them here). Anyway, she had on: a winter hat, some one's goggles from a college lab class, a scarf, a sweater, an apron, and winter gloves. How she found all of this so quickly in the middle of summer remains a mystery, but she was brave enough to get a chair and pose for a pic in front of the upside down bat. But just as she was slowly reaching a gloved hand towards it....it started to frantically fly around the room.
And there was screaming. And running.
I think we shut the door and sat outside of it for a good ten minutes, and I'm pretty sure someone actually did grab a tennis racket by the way.
Eventually we peeked in the door. And it had settled down in it's favorite little weird place on the door frame. And I got brave. I don't remember if I put the goggles on, but I did put a glove on and I still can't believe I did this, but I courageously* walked over to the chair, grabbed the bat in my gloved hand, sprinted to the window, and tossed it out. Then there was more screaming.
And we all went to bed the end.
***
I guess I was reminded of this story today, when I woke up at (oddly 4 am) and saw the cats freaking out in Kelan's room when I went to check on him. Then something whizzed by my head.
This time I let Sean be the hero. I made some oatmeal while he wandered in and out of the kitchen every once in awhile bringing random things up with him (a broom, a garbage bag ((which totally made me think of that episode of The Office)), even a pizza box) I think the kicker is that the same kid who wakes up when I am downstairs unloading the dishwasher, slept through all of this commotion.
Anyway. Bat#2 is gone, I'm convinced we all have rabies though.
Send a CDC rep.
*The kind of courage that can only come from a night with domestic canned beer and off-brand vodka
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